....TAIL_FIN ETIQUETTE.....For the guy or gal who goes through life backwards. Among those who
are concerned with fine manners, this is one of the greatest difficulties of our modern age. The
car you own (or borrow) may well come equipped with glorious tail fins, but mere politeness
requires that you handle them in a rather discrete manner. The following, for example,
are considered unequivocal breeches of etiquette today:........ backing the sharp point
of one into the center of a female's derriere;...... using them to open bottles of
beer or stuck sardine can lids; .....using them to untie bystander's shoelaces
while doing wheelies;...using them to carve your name into highway
dividers (a notoriously difficult task); and, the greatest social
misdemeanor of all,.....driving up to an outdoor newsstand, skewing a copy of Playboy on the left
and Cavalier on the right, and driving off with the fold-outs flapping in the breeze.................